


Forgive (Not Forget)

by NeopetsKid



Series: HLVRAI One-Shots [3]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Bubby-centric, Forgiveness, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prosthetics, and gordon forgive momence, bubby remorse momence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27240808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeopetsKid/pseuds/NeopetsKid
Summary: Nearly one full year after Black Mesa, Bubby realizes he has been forgiven.
Relationships: Bubby & Gordon Freeman
Series: HLVRAI One-Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974760
Comments: 7
Kudos: 96





	Forgive (Not Forget)

Bubby was not a remorseful person.

Growing up in Black Mesa would do that to anyone. Mistakes were few and far between in Bubby’s life, and each time he made one he would simply think of an ingenious solution. The fools that surrounded him might have been worried or sad about their slip-ups but Bubby was different. Bubby didn’t lose sleep over spilled hydrochloric acid.

Not that it would have even been possible for him to do so. Living with a tightly regulated schedule and a tube that would fill with sleeping gas on time every night left little room for Bubby to self-destruct. He was perfect, after all. He couldn’t fail.

But once Black Mesa came crashing down, so did his perceived infallibility. His rules, his schedule, his work and livelihood all fell apart in one giant green flash. Any sense of stability vanished in one day.

And what did Bubby do then? If someone were to ask him that, he would smugly reply that he handled the entire situation like a champ. He had been a beacon of knowledge and leadership, fearlessly ushering his companions to safety. He had done everything right, as always.

Internally, however, Bubby would be all too aware of his failings. Even from the very start he had been cowardly, blaming the resonance cascade on Gordon and refusing to share even the smallest of details like his name. He had been stubborn in the face of his friends and had run at the sight of his enemies. Bubby has been a complete disgrace.

And yet none of that had been the worst part. The worst part had unequivocally been the betrayal. Bubby had  _ trusted _ Benrey, so  _ stupid _ of him.  _ Never trust anyone  _ was the first lesson Black Mesa taught him- taught both of them, and he had still trusted them. 

He hadn’t expected the military to go as far as they did. Neither did Benrey, by the looks of it, but they had done nothing to stop them either. They didn’t stop the military from putting Bubby back in his tube either.

And yet Gordon had welcomed them back after all the shit they put him through, put the whole  _ team _ through. Benrey lived with Tommy now, although it was well known they frequented trips to Gordon’s apartment as well. How could Gordon trust them after all they did? Sure, the skeletons had played a part as well but Benrey wasn’t  _ always _ being controlled. From the little they revealed, it sounded as though Benrey had planned the resonance cascade from the beginning. Something about a mission they had.

But Gordon still wanted them there, had  _ fought _ for them to be free of the hellscape they were trapped in. Why did he care so much? It made no sense to Bubby.

What was more shocking to him was the realization that Gordon had forgiven  _ him _ as well. 

It wasn’t a huge moment when it happened. Bubby and Gordon had been in the latter’s kitchen, idly chatting as Dr. Coomer fired up the grill outside with the others. It was a peaceful summer afternoon, almost a full year since Black Mesa. 

Bubby made a disgruntled noise as he went to take a sip of his soda and found it empty. Gordon took notice and reached for another. He grabbed a new can with his mechanical hand and immediately crushed it, liquid spraying everywhere.

“Oh, shit!” He yelped, rushing to the sink. Bubby watched as he frantically stopped the flow, his prosthetic not letting go of the poor, crushed soda. Gordon pried it free with his other hand.

“Nice going, Einstein,” Bubby remarked drily. Gordon flipped him off.

“Man, fuck off,” he chuckled, grabbing a towel and wiping himself clean. “It’s not my fault this prosthetic can’t apply the right amount of pressure.”

It was true. This was hardly the first time Gordon had broken something with his metal hand, either from brute force or a grip so weak he had simply dropped whatever he was holding. For all the hush money Black Mesa had given them all, their best prosthetic could still be finicky.  _ As was typical of all Black Mesa products, myself included, _ Bubby mused.

He scoffed. “Those idiots couldn’t design a good prosthetic if their lives depended on it. I had to do repairs to my own bionic heart because of their incompetence.”

Gordon laughed incredulously, grabbing another soda with his flesh hand and giving it to Bubby. Bubby accepted it and didn’t bother expanding on his claim. He just glanced at Gordon’s metal hand and pondered.

The hand was sleek and the very best on the market. Its metal plates were blue, painted over from the orange it came in after Gordon realized it looked like the HEV suit. The dark grey joints and palm contrasted nicely with the steel blue parts, and the fingers had padding for grip. It was top of the line technology, and yet the strength in the grip varied wildly.

Bubby cracked open his new soda and took a sip. “I could adjust the grip for you,” he offered in what he hoped was a casual tone. “I’ve got a hell of a lot more of a knack for these sort of things than the morons who made it.”

Gordon shook his head. “Nah, you don’t have to do that,” he replied easily, struggling to open a can of his own.

Bubby frowned. “Yes I do,” he retorted petulantly. “It’s the least I can do after all the shit I’ve pulled.”

Gordon laughed at that. “Dude, Benrey did way worse and I don’t ever ask stuff like that of them. Hell, even Dr. Coomer tried to kill me and I’m not asking any favors from him.”

Bubby paused. That was true, wasn’t it? Gordon had forgiven the others, why wouldn’t he have forgiven him as well? 

If he thought about it, Bubby really hadn’t done anything at least one of the others had done. No one was free from guilt. Even Tommy, who had never betrayed or attempted to harm Gordon was guilty of leaving him behind while he bled out in a trash compactor. And Gordon had forgiven them anyway-  _ all _ of them, as Bubby was now realizing.

Why did Bubby think he was different? Was it some sort of narcissism, convincing himself that he was somehow so important that Gordon thought him different from the rest? Or was it the result of self esteem so low he had to constantly sing his own praises so loudly he might lose his voice.

Bubby knew the answer, of course. But he couldn’t be bothered to have a crisis right there in Gordon’s kitchen, and so he barreled on. 

“I don’t give a shit, I  _ want _ to improve your arm.”

Gordon protested, of course, but Bubby was not about to lose a fight in stubbornness. The argument only lasted a few minutes before Gordon finally conceded. He gave Bubby his prosthetic to take home at the end of the night, and Bubby stayed up till 4 in the morning perfecting it. He gave it back the next day, puffing up with pride at the praise he received, ignoring the concerned questions about his sleep habits.

Bubby watched as Gordon’s hand improved his life with pride. He didn’t have to worry about applying excess force or losing grip of fragile objects. His fans on Twitch noticed a remarkable increase in skill in the games he played. When asked, he attributed this to “a gift from a friend”. Bubby smiled when he said this, immediately donating for Doctor Feelgood to be played next. And if anyone ever asked, he would deny having ever watched any of Gordon’s streams.

Gordon had forgiven him, but he certainly didn’t forget. Benrey let it slip that he slept with the lights on, that he jumped at loud noises, and that he still had nightmares. Bubby hadn’t expected anything else, but it still broke his heart to hear.

At the end of the day, however, Bubby was content with both his and Gordon’s progress. The entire team had managed to recover remarkably well considering the hell they had been through. Gordon’s forgiveness was seemingly endless, and the others did what they could to help him with what he couldn’t forget.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I’ve been thinking a lot about Bubby recently and decided to make something for him. Kudos are great and comments are life!


End file.
